Which one do you like best?

Music: Welcome to Mystery – Plain White T’s

]]> http://www.outspoken-kate.com/punk/feed/ 25 http://www.outspoken-kate.com/dont-hate/ http://www.outspoken-kate.com/dont-hate/#comments Fri, 05 Mar 2010 00:45:50 +0000 Kate http://www.outspoken-kate.com/?p=3213 I’m quite surprised that people are passionate enough to get on me fot not updating, I actually think that shows that I have some awesome visitors and I’m being completely serious. OFCOURSE I haven’t forgotten what I used to do, I wish I had enough time to fully develop a brand new website, I still have inspiration, I still love doing what I do, unfortunately I have university and I’m already struggling to have a “life” as it is in the midst of all of it.

I know that’s not what you want to hear – but for those of you who are continuing to visit – I appreciate that and I’m happy to know that you like to come by, that’s awesome =) If you don’t like me or what I do, that’s ok too, but there’s no use in trying to put me down or anyone else who enjoys visiting whatever website they like, not just my own. I’m almost 20 years old, I am far above poetic 3rd grade insults and I am virtually bulletproof to anything negative people say to me. I enjoy doing what I do as a hobby and I’m thrilled to be able to talk to people about what I like to do and like doing the same things! Nothing that anyone ever tells me will ever change that – there is not a single insult that I haven’t heard and it does not matter to me what people chose to pick at. I do what I do because I like it and I will try my best to get everything together as time allows.

Thank you if you come by and leave a pleasant comment, it puts a smile on my face to know that you care =) If you don’t say something nice, who cares, life goes on, I am not here to battle someone who does not know me and indulge in negativity, I’m above that and I enjoy doing what I do too much to let that stop me =)

In middle school I used to have the most inspiring teacher who organized a school “concert” for a band of young kids he knew and who he really liked. So our little cardboard school in the little cardboard town got together to listen to this band of 3 teenaged kids play for us who were probably no older than 16. I was about 10 or 11 at the time and that’s how I was introduced to alternative rock music. Ever since then I was hooked, I walked out of that little cardboard GYM and thought to my little self “Self, YOU JUST SAW A KICK ASS BAND WHO WILL BE FAMOUS!” but in a more G-rated way. I was so excited (and many people in my class were too) that I never fogot the band named Inward Eye and sometimes googled them to see when they would make it!

Turns out they wend on a US tour with Sum41 and many other bands that I don’t remember at this hour, went on the Canadian Juno awards, kept on playing for like 10 years and never stopped.

So the Olympics Closing Ceremony comes up yesterday (that I missed most of) and I find out that Inward Eye from the town I used to live in IS PLAYING IN THE CEREMONY! HELLO!

It is awesome to think that a teacher I used to know believed in these three teenaged brothers (playing in a garage) enough to introduce them to our tiny school and that I had this feeling that I would be seeing a LOT more of them in the future that I didn’t forget their name since about age 11. Now they play in front of millions of people worldwide at the Olympics, HOW INSANE IS THAT?!!

If you haven’t heard of them, here’s some of their stuff: (They have a uniquely aggressive, chant-like style but their skill is great!)

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_2fCekF0-4

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ljrNsm3SwI

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8yP9WajeA0

I have to catch their show sometime.

I have been getting the feeling that everything and everyone around me is moving while I am completely idle. I begin class in the morning and finish off at night; meanwhile there is noisy life and motion all around me while I miss it. A train can be seen from the 5th floor view of the building I am in, above the roof of the building across from mine you can faintly see strings of cars buzzing by the trees as sunlight is brightly reflected.

Have you ever had a feeling that you want to run? Run from where you are and join the motion, join the chaos, and just join the life happening outside? Run and leave everything behind to do what you want instead of what you are “supposed” to?

I used to be a good little girl who went to class, did as I was told, never questioned anything and never wondered what was happening outside of my cute teensy world. Now I am bored, argumentative and at times highly resentful. At times I want out.

Everywhere I turn I get contorted faces and academia zombies stressing to me what my limit is, what I can and cannot do, what is possible and what is impossible.

I wonder how those people know my future better than I know it myself. Have they all had the time to run freely? Or have they too, missed it all and are only guessing about what that could be like? Never had taken a chance, always stayed on the safe side and always used caution and not enough imagination or chance. I never want to be like that. I would never want to look at someone and tell them that they cannot make their wish come true, that their chances are slim to none. No matter what a person’s dream, I would be cheering them on from the sidelines. I see no point in talking about obstacles; if that’s all you concentrate on then maybe you will never make it past your driveway.

I am sick of being evaluated, controlled and pushed to do something that even the evaluator doesn’t quite know how to bring across. You are pushed without knowing where you are going, but don’t you stop. If you stop then you won’t make it, they should know.

USA was nuts near the end! SO glad to see Canada come out #1! FUCK YEAH CANADA, SUCH A CRAZY GAME!

Also: I want it to be summer!

Where’s my Angel? Go on and take my life.

However if the subject was about something pleasant and I were to say “I want to travel the world, I want to have a great job, I want to live my dreams” then I would get a very different reply. I would be warned with the “Do you know how many people there are in this world? Wake up! The world is so big and it will likely never happen to you, one person among the billions”.

Which brings me to this point: Why is it often taught that the most negative, vile and nerve wrecking event is the one that will happen to you while an ecstatically pleasing event is likely not to happen to you based on the fact that they are both rare?

Why automatically burden the good things that people dream of and focus on the negative?

Maybe it is the “better safe than sorry” type of an idea where you brace yourself for the bad and disregard the good. Whatever the logic, as of right now I am a hairy cyclops named Spartacus and you can’t tell me otherwise no matter how rare I might seem to you!

Unfortunately I have a different daily scene.

Today I started school at 9:30am and arrived home at 8:00pm. That is a full ass day. I then did some homework for an hour and a project for another hour and now you and me stand at 12:27am which means it is time to hop into bed and get into my book for English class because I am now aware of the class rules. At last I have realized that reading due dates are important! If the day comes and you are still on page zero of Frankenstein, don’t mind yourself as the class blazes along and creatively interprets the novel as you sit there going an embarrassing-100km/hr on the communication highway. Move along GRANDMA.

Tomorrow is a full day too, but that’s alright. Wednesday is the same as today, Thursday is a test, Friday is almost a chill day, weekend I work and then come Monday exams hit. I have about 1 or 2 days to study and I will be dead by the end. Here’s to Red Bull.

Yes, to Red Bull and being an unfabulous Schoolaholic.

Music usually helps me out. I’ll need to change my music player too, that has to be at least two years old. Out with the old, in with the new!

Thanks for stopping by, I hope you’re doing well and I really hope that time will allow me to do everything that I want with my site!

- Katya, aka Kate