{December 15} What a shit day!

Filed in: life 2 Comments

I’m writing this because I am in the most god awful mood imaginable.

I haven’t slept since 4:30 am, had an exam at 8am and then another at 12.

First exam..how to I describe this? Like taking an exam in your sleep, you just feel your body take it’s toll and you are just in the middle of a cozy dream and cannot seem to read properly. I was trying to study my accounting the night before (just trying to get the final stuff down, not like cramming or anything) and only got about 4.5 hours of sleep.

So that exam went by and I think I got about 80% on it, easily done.

Then comes my business exam. We had 600 pages of material to know, plus ratios, plus various formulas, PLUS accounting and 35 back to back pages of definitions. It took me 11 hours just to write my study notes out for chapters 10 to 18 and a total of two hours just to read through HALF OF MY NOTES. I have spent, no slaved, no, PUT MY BLOOD AND TEARS into studying for this god forsaken exam.

I got an 87% on my midterm, aced our group project (btw only 10% of the people enrolled can do that, so like 40 out of 400 and me and my 5 group members ended up falling into there), aced my class work and got an A- on my presentation. I stayed up until 5am, pulled ridiculous hours at the school to work and slave on that project, came to extra accounting help and read over my notes.

Today I get to the final about 30 questions in, I’m realizing that I don’t know jack shit. You start guessing, not believing yourself, thinking too hard, etc. THEN that’s when I got to the numerical part. Right at about question 60 out of the 100 we had, I thought I was going to cry. Just when you thought it was bad, IT WAS JUST THE BEGINNING, BABY! There was the most difficult decision analysis  question you had to write out by hand followed by generating two balance sheets and two income statements all from your head…followed by writing everything out, followed by interest formulas and then RANDOM STATISTICS AND QUESTIONS FROM A RANDOM LECTURE THAT NO ONE WENT TO….I mean it was just bad, pure mental rape, torture, just BAD. Like 30 seconds per question when it would normally take half an hour to figure out. NAUSIATINGLY BAD!!!

The kicker is, if you get less than 68% on that two hour exam, YOU FAIL OUT OF THE COURSE.

FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am at a 95+ average and I think I just fucking FAILED out of my course with that sad, disgusting, volatile and mentally degrading piece of CRAP of an exam!

Yes, I realize that I’m a big girl – but I’ve sat there and learned my shit for so long. I didn’t hang out with friends – I always had to say I was busy, I limited my internet/tv time, I got guilty for having even a SPECK of pleasure because I was working towards this ridiculous exam…and NOW WHAT???

I swear this is just the cruellest punishment. It doesn’t make me want to try anymore because after getting raped like this you just feel so helpless that it’s disgusting.

I’m sorry but I’m really not the only person who feels like this in the class. Some dropped a long time ago. I wish I could have done better but now I sit and wait until tomorrow when they post my grades up. Did I mention I’m running on like 4 hours of sleep? FML!